Time has started to really slow down around here. With all of my assignments done, and study break looming in my face, I really have plenty of time in my hands. Initially, it felt good to not feel stressed or weighed down by work, but being the workaholic that I am, I think I'm starting to feel it, the pulling of the edges of my mind to be focused on something. Maybe I should be focusing on my finals, but too bad, I'm not. It just seems so far away right now.Thing is, I'm not even comfortable in my own home. I've noticed that I get a lot more short fused that I used to be but.. Maybe it's because there's nothing much for me to look forward to here. Sure enough, I can count the number of things that make me feel comfortable here. Things have gotten complicated around the house, and with guests, and such, I've just grown accustomed to being locked up in my room. My roommate gives me comfort, and solidarity too. But I still need space from all this. 

Truth be told, I miss my boyfriend so much, and I miss home so much. In a way, I'm running away from reality because I'm just putting of to-do things off, I'm just procrastinating, wasting away, doing anything but work. Nothing is urgent right now, and nothing has to be. I want to just sit around and read and write and dream but.. sometimes, it gets to me. So many things have changed, and it really upsets me in some way that those simplistic things that I took for granted back in high school? Yeah, I really miss that. I miss my girlfriends, cuz they don't seem to be around for me anymore. I miss my parents, when I had to rely on them and not be so independent. I miss my brothers, when we could just wrestle around all day and they'd know all these cool gadget or game stuff that just sparks my interests. I miss all of that, and so much more, but that's the truth of life.

You can't turn back time, no matter how much you want to. It's just like how Barry Allen finally gets his chance to go back to the past to save his mother from being killed, but in the end, he didn't do it. Because he knows that although he had the power to change time, time is an infinite continuum that keeps going on and on and what he has right now is what he should be grateful for. Many opportunities open to me to make new friends to be closer to people, but I constantly push them away because I'm stuck with the ideal of my friends that's in my mind. And they would never feel the same. I just wish the people that matters to me, feel the same way too.