Today, one of my friends brought up a really interesting topic for her presentation; Voluntourism. I thought her presentation was amazing because it brought up a lot of points that I have thought of but which I had never really dwelled upon. Personally, it was very relatable to me because of my exchange experience via AIESEC. Her whole presentation was basically slapping AIESEC in the face ten times over. Lol. Needless to say, I was very excited throughout her whole presentation. Nodding my head and pumping my fists up in agreement to each point she threw at us. But I know my friend could relate to it too because she was also one of the volunteers that went for an AIESEC exchange. She did not share about AIESEC during her presentation, although I expected her to. I think it was a good choice that she did not, but presenting voluntourism as a whole was a really interesting take on her part.

Voluntourism is basically made up of two words;

I have never heard of this word before but without a doubt, AIESEC is Voluntourism and I understand this whole concept completely. It involves people from all over the world to take part in a "community project" or "social work" for a summer break or something and then you go back to your life feeling like you've changed the world. Truth to be told, before I went for my exchange, I didn't expect that I'm going to change the world. I mean, come on, it's living six weeks abroad, how much change could I have done? Once I leave the place, the impact I left would have disappeared together with me. True enough, I didn't feel like I made any difference after my exchange experience, which made me feel even more skeptical about AIESEC than I already am. That's also why I changed my department to Talent Management instead of the sales team I was in. I didn't feel like I could keep persuading people to join something I did not believe in.

One of the selling points of AIESEC that I am always reminded by my seniors to use is, "Travel with A Purpose". I always thought that, wow, yeah, that really makes sense. If I were to just travel around sightseeing, I may not even enjoy it all that much. Volunteering somewhere would make it feel more meaningful, more stories to tell your friends. AHAHA. Okay but when I went for my exchange I didn't think about all this alright. I came back and read up more on voluntourism because I am interested in what it really is and what people has to say about it. They found that most voluntourists are women and young adults aged from 20 to 25 years old. It feels like these altruists are really doing something to give back to the community, and maybe this is really the only way they can, but perhaps doing it at your hometown would also bring as much, or even more significance to the community.

Voluntourism is also more popular amongst the Western society to travel to Asian countries to volunteer, some sort of Western imperialism that would make us Asians feel like, "Wow, there are these white people coming over to help us." Haha, let me testify for that. When I was at my exchange, all the Vietnamese students were so amazed by these ang mohs and did not give a shit about me because I looked local and Asian. Sigh, seriously.. I'm more interesting than them lah okay. Haha but anyway yeah, I think it does make them feel even more narcissistic about themselves. I think that's the perfect word to describe this whole voluntourism thing.

Especially in our Instagrammable culture, they just take pictures with these Asian kids to show that they are doing something, but in truth, they did not do much, they did not even carry out the workshops at my project. While it all looks like a bed of roses on their social media, nobody truly knows what they did at their project. Sigh okay, I need to stop bashing ang mohs, but seriously, it applies to everyone in general actually. Even I felt a sense of pride in going to Vietnam to volunteer, but I knew it was more of my own personal development than creating any sort of impact to my students.

I'd like to end this post with a paragraph I read somewhere about #InstagrammingAfrica.

On these trips, we hide behind the lens, consuming the world around us with our powerful gazes and the clicking of camera shutters. When I directed this photo opportunity and starred in it, I used my privilege to capture a photograph that made me feel as though I was engaging with the community. Only now do I realize that what I was actually doing was making myself the hero/star in a story about “suffering Africa.”

Think your travel trips through before going for volunteering abroad, and remember, creating an impact should always be about the people, not ourselves. =)

The past few days had been really taxing on me. I had a lot of tasks at hand and even though I was really, really as productive as my mind allowed, I still am not ticking off my tasks because these tasks need a lot of time and comprehension to complete. Ugh, I was feeling too over productive to the point that I just wanna give up some of it, like, you can't have the best of both worlds right? Sigh, but my stupid consciousness at the back of my mind nagged at me constantly, 

Are you sure you won't regret this decision? 

Seriously, this is what I ask myself all the time when I am at crossroads. It's the perfect question for me to decide on anything, and I am constantly striving to be better, to learn new things. Today I'd like to share on why I choose to jog whenever I have the time. Of course, sometimes my lazy worms get the best of me, but since I did jog today, I'd like to share on how it made me feel. This may also be my first ever "lists" post, someone had once told me that people like to read lists and my posts are always really messy and disorganized, so this may actually make it look organized for once.

1. It clears my head.

At times like this, it really helps me to clear my head. Just earlier today I was seated at the study table for the whole day typing away and cracking my head to come up with something to write. It gave me a splitting headache and I felt so miserable that I still had so much work to do. Getting out for a jog just gave me the break I needed, and I needed something different, not even watching TV shows could cheer me up. After the jog I felt really good that I look forward to continuing my work. It's a miracle, isn't it?

2. It allows me to appreciate the little things I overlook everyday.

Without noticing, there is this whole world around us that we always overlook because we were either too busy tapping away on our phones or taking for granted our mundane everyday life. Let me tell you, where I am, Kota Samarahan, Sarawak, it has most beautiful skies ever - those that you only really see in movies. There are no high rise buildings, so the scenery is simply breathtaking and I am grateful for being here everyday.

3. It helps me focus.

Actually, I think this is an elaboration on my first point, but honestly, I'm running out of things to write. The rhythmic tap, tap, tap, of my sneakers just helps me focus and also my concentration on breathing helps me to focus on completing my run, and not let my mind run wild or overthink my worries. It's really just one of the best feelings ever, being able to focus on one thing instead of thinking about everything else. 

 4. It helps me to feel and be healthier.

Okay, I'm not typically those girls that go on diet or restrain from eating because I don't really gain much weight and stuff. So the reason for my jogs are really so that I am healthier. I have the worst stamina, because being the nerd I am for my entire life, I don't do much sports. I think gaining some stamina at this point of my life would be really good because then I wouldn't tire so easily and I'm able to do more, see more things if I travel and stuff. :D

Thanks for an awesome trip! <3

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It's kinda the raining season here in Kuching, Sarawak. I love the fact that fluffy clouds are my shade when I cycle home from uni, but I also dislike the fact that when it rains really heavily, I'm really helpless because I have no car here. I just spent about half an hour just now walking back in really heavy rain, like literally those cats and dogs are falling kind. I just dinner with my housemates and it was a 10-minute walk back home. Halfway through our meal, it started pouring really heavily, but I wasn't worried at all, because I wasn't alone, and it's just rain. How much damage can getting soaked do to me, really?

Sometimes in life, there needs to be something significant, life-changing or bombastic to be memorable, but I think we need to step out of that whole ideal of how we need something drastic to feel alive. I've always been that kind of person, actually. Always needing something really exciting or something different to remember, to make me feel whole. I don't know how or when this started, but I've been this way for a while now. And this kind of attitude won't get me far, especially when I'm in a long-distanced 6-year long relationship. Of course, there is always this tick-the-box livelihood that symbolizes or accomplishments in life, but that shouldn't be so. It isn't fair for anyone at all. What we really need is to look at the simplest things in life and appreciate what we have.

So anyway, back to how I was walking home from dinner, there were 4 of us, holding on to our umbrellas for our dear lives, but even though each of us had a personal umbrella, we were still drenched wait because it was too windy. The streets drowned in a layer of water while the drains threatened to overflow. My feet were in the water the whole way through as we waded through the streets, singing "It's Raining Men". And in that moment, I looked at the faces of my friends, and I know that I will remember this forever. It sounds so cliche, but it is true. When I leave this place, I want to remember everything I experienced here; the people I meet, the places I've been, the hardships I've faced, it all made me who I am today.